The ANTecdote
What is Duck?
by Sarah Kmon Maybe you have seen it on the Red Ants Pants website, or perhaps when looking for wall tents for hunting camp. But there are a lot items made out of a strange substance called “duck”. Certain hefty work pants for women are among the items. “Duck” does not mean that Red Ants Pants are made out of poor little duck feathers. They are much more durable than that because Red Ants Pants are 100% cotton. Duck refers to the weave of the fabric – how the yarn is made into a piece of material. Does this make your eyes feel funny? Let’s try another one. These are pictures of Red Ants Pants chocolate duck. My mouth just filled up with saliva. It’s not Easter yet. So now that you know what duck means when refering to material, maybe you will get that question in Trivial Pursuit. Quack.
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One Job, One Reason: Feeding Cows
by Sarah Kmon WARNING: If you look at this post too long, it will make your eyes spin and your right leg hurt. Red Ants Pants are an awesome workpant for feeding cows because… the gusseted crotch in the pants makes it really easy to climb in and out of the tractor. Simple. Bonus corney joke: Geese and ducks fly in a V right? Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other? Because there’s more geese on that side. Hah!
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How to Spend a (very) Long Weekend in Montana in Early January
by Sarah Kmon Montana has a reputation of being horribly cold, inhospitable and uninhabitable in Winter. Well that’s true. But you don’t have to be an abononinmabible snowman to enjoy it. If spending four days in Montana in early January floats your boat, here’s what you can do. Fly into Bozeman Airport on Thursday, Jan 5th. (If you already live in Montana you can skip that part). Drive down Hwy 191 to the 320 Guest Ranch. Check in. Eat dinner in their enormous dining room then freeze your tootsies off on a moonlit sleigh ride and singe your eyebrows around their gigantic bonfire. Next morning, get some exercise. Go snowshoeing around the ranch or cross country skiing at Fawn Pass in Yellowstone National Park. Eat lunch at the Bugaboo cafe, just near the yellow light by the turn up to Big Sky on Hwy 191. In the afternoon drive up to Belgrade and check into the Gallatin River Lodge. Relax. Settle. Take a nap. Eat dinner in their dining room (their food is fantastic) then get yourself gussied up and head to Bozeman. Ten foot tall and 80 proof are playing at the Crystal Bar on main street, and they are awesome. We know, because they played at the 2011 Red Ants Pants Music Festival. We were there. Saturday the 7th head towards the Bridger Mountains and shred some sick powder on the gnarly slopes of Bridger Bowl (dude). In the evening, eat dinner at Blackbird. Then head back to the comfort of the Gallatin River Lodge. If you got a jacuzzi in your room, use it. Sunday morning head back to Bozeman. Tour the historic downtown. Buy a strange oil painting of a horse. Eat the best lunch in town at the Bozeman Coop, amongst cowboys and hippies. Once you are done, head back towards the ski hill but keep going on towards White Sulphur Springs. If you need directions you can call us (406-547-3781) or tweet us (@redantspants) and we’ll help you out. When you get to White Sulphur Springs, check into the Hotsprings Spa and Motel. They have a new wing and a new pool. You can get into the new pool, heat up your tired skiing and snowshoeing muscles and get heavenly sleepy in the hot water under the chilly air. Eat dinner at Dempsey’s. Early Monday morning, soak in the hotsprings one last time, then stop at Red Ants Pants. We don’t open until ten so you have plenty of time to check out of the Spa. Once we’ve talked your ear off, and Nellie… …has showered you with kisses, you must head back to Bozeman to catch your flight home on Tuesday morning. See? It’s very simple. P.S. we are not a tourist information or booking center. You have to do all that by yourself. We just make pants. Good ones. P.P.S The rules are that you have to come and visit us. Those are the rules.
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A Day in the Life of a Red Ants Pants Dog
by Sarah Kmon Nellie watches for unsuspecting customers, so that she can get in as many licks as possible before they get through the door. Then she takes a break. Then, like a trooper goes back to her duties of greeting people looking for some hard-core work pants. Or directions. Sometimes they just need directions.
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Worst Wine in Town
Last Monday, in the Red Ants Pants store, we sang Christmas music way too loudly as we hung decorations and continuously “sampled” the mulled wine. We were preparing for the White Sulphur Springs Christmas stroll. I chopped oranges and apples to go in the wine, while Sarah C. added whole cloves and cinnamon and other yummies. It was delicious. Donna prepared the Chrismas tree which had dog-biscuit-theme going on – Nellie was unimpressed that she wasn’t allowed to eat them. The cheese-and-cracker table. Always popular. Did you know that at Red Ants Pants, we are very close to Glamour, Fame and Excitement? Just after dark, Santa arrived. The reindeer took off to see old friends so he was on foot and needed directions. But not before we two Sarah’s made a Santa Sandwich. Then people started arriving. By about six, the shop was packed full of mingling adults, and children feeding Nellie the biscuits from the tree. The “worst wine in town” as one friendly rancher called it, kept people coming back and (I hate to say it) loitering until well past my bedtime. But we like loiterers. It was so much FUN. And everyone should know that you are all invited next year.
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Dogs, Cats and Christmas Gifts
by Sarah Kmon Nellie, Sarah C’s dog, wears people clothes. We don’t judge her for it. But we find her wearing them, quite often. Like this morning, she was lounging on the couch in the store wearing this hat. She did NOT like that I found her and took her photo. But I thought that the hats make great Christmas gifts and that I should let you all know that we have them. As it turns out, Magpie is partial to the hats also. She guards them from Nellie, but hasn’t figured out how to wear them herself. I am partial to the belts and buckles, which also make great Christmas gifts. The belts are tooled by local rancher/brand-inspector/horsehair-braider Kathy Hochstrat. The buckles are cast in Colorado. She also tools dog ant collars and leashes. You know, if you ever have an ant that needs a walk….
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Two Kinds of Shipping
by Sarah Kmon In cow country, there is a thing called “shipping”. Just, as I’m sure, there is “shipping” in Lapland. Only we ship cows, not presents. And we don’t care if you’ve been naughty or nice. Shipping in Montana is the release of weanling calves to their new owners by sending (or shipping) them off to their new zip code. The first thing that happens is the separation of the appropriate type of bovine – cow from calf, or heifers from steers. This often involves cowboys. It’s a lot of fun. But there is some serious work too. Like counting brands, or counting cows, or calves. But not sheep. You don’t count sheep when you’re supposed to be working. The cowboys ride sweaty horses, (different from Lapland, where they have reindeer) and are usually supernice. Sometimes they have painfully cute dogs that you want to take home while no-one’s looking. I’ve never seen it happen, but I suspect that the cowboys would not be so supernice if you tried it. Anyway, back to shipping. Shipping here usually takes place in late October/early November – not December, like in Lapland. Shipping involves lots of people, not elves. And I’m pretty sure Lapland would wrap a big bow around any dog you wanted. It’s just not cool to do that here. However, cow country is still very awesome. We like it here.
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The Whitehouse
Earlier this fall I was invited to the Whitehouse. As in the Whitehouse, the Big Guy’s house. The Whitehouse Business Council selected two businesses from every state to profile on the Whitehouse website. We were then invited to the Whitehouse for a forum on Jobs and Economic Competitiveness on November 4th. I will admit that my first reaction to this invite was “Oh shoot, I’ll be in elk camp with my cousin Wes.” But then I wised up. @ The Whitehouse Wes is actually my cousin Ashley’s husband, not my true cousin, but we’ve done enough hunting and beer drinking together for me to consider him real family. In September he guided me on my first moose hunt. We were back in New Brunswick, Canada. Meet Leroy, my first moose. Sorry about the tongue. We were too excited to tuck it in. Leroy, the yummiest moose ever It was a fantastic hunt. So in return, I was booked to “guide” Wes elk hunting for 10 days. Then the Whitehouse called. Being the great guy that Wes is, he understood, reminded me that it’s not everyday you get invited to the Whitehouse and I left elk camp a few days early. I like the transition of this: To this: With Senator Baucus and Senator Tester Trying to keep life in balance. My eyes were open wide in DC. The power of that city is palpable, so is the frustration, the energy and the hope. At least it was in my mind. Perhaps I’m too optimistic in these days of gridlock, national debt, and unbalanced budgets. But we must have hope. At the FDR Memorial I read these words on the wall. I could not agree more. Amen. Let’s keep working hard. And let’s never give up on hope.
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Men in Our Pants
In my attempts to get back into writing on the ANTecdote, I sat down early this morning with a strong cup of coffee and tried to begin the mental debriefing process of summarizing the Red Ants Pants Music Festival experience. It’s been four months since the event and I’m still struggling to get my mind around the enormity of what we pulled off. In the coming weeks and months I will put pen to paper and share my festival reflections. I promise. Nate and Ty in their favorite pants But today I was saved by two very handsome (and married!) hunting guides who walked into my shop to buy more pants. Yup, Nate and Ty both guide elk hunters while wearing women’s pants. Nice work fellas! Nate’s pants will even be featured on a hunting show. He needed a belt and hat to complete his RAP outfit. Ty needed a second pair of RAP’s so he could fit his long johns under them. Thanks gentlemen, for your support and for proving that “Real Men Wear Women’s Pants.”
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